Well I think it is safe to say that I did not do the best job in the Fall of 2013 of faithfully blogging, 2 entries in 4 months does not a blogger make.
But I am recommitting, rethinking, regrouping, and re-starting the blog. I have wrestled with how to blog, what to say, what to focus on, how “me” to be, how “pastor” to be, how “mom” to be, how “wife” to be . . . it felt a little too who am I , and I was pretty sure I was not going to start a blog that aimed to discover who I am as a 33 year old pastor, mom, and wife (among other things like sister or friend). Still, common sense seems to make a “target audience” necessary for anything we do to be successful. So the question haunted me – who are you writing this for (or to)?
Maybe if I am honest I am writing this in part for me (and “to” me), and in part for all the “me’s” out there that struggle with the day to day balance of being everything to everyone. Almost three years out of seminary and into ministry and the question remains: How to be a pastor to my church and mom to my daughter, while also being a wife to my husband and present in the lives of my other family and friends? What gives? What suffers? What and when do I sacrifice?
Now of course we all know these answers are not black and white, nor are they carved in stone somewhere and applied to every person the same way. But I guess it is not really about the answers anyway, but about the journey. You know? The paths we take based on decisions we make, choices we are faced with, or maybe it is better to describe it as the balancing act we engage with while attempting to move forward in life.
So that is what this blog really aims to do: to walk through life together as we figure it out (the balance of it all, that is). I plan to be honest (at times maybe too honest being that I am a super extroverted processor) about my challenges and the struggle I face when it comes to keeping everything in perspective while I attempt to keep my priorities in place. So mine may be different from yours, priorities that is, but I bet there are lots of you out there engaged in the act of balancing. Why not do it together? Why not learn from each other (from our mistakes and our successes)?
After all, it is easy to SAY God comes first, my faith is important . . . but it is an entirely different thing to work that out as a female pastor, married to a Dominican immigrant, raising a 2.10 year old, expecting a 2nd child in May. But it should be fun to try! And to try to work it all out in a public setting . . . could this be one of those mistakes I learn from (or one of those successes)?
Whichever it is, I am okay with that. Why? Because I think it is important for us to be vulnerable with one another, to remember we are human beings (imperfect as we are), and that we can relate to one another a lot more than we think at times. Just because the items on your balancing plate are different than mine, doesn’t mean we have nothing to offer each other in regards to how we approach it.
Alright, now I am excited! Now I feel committed! Now I am ready to blog, no really, I mean it this time. I am even providing you some photo examples of my attempt at “balancing”.