Introducing the newest addition to the Mera Family, born May 4th at 11:21am (8 lbs 4oz, 20.5 inches): Maisie Lillian Mera. We are in love all over again. Adeline is such a wonderful big sister and adjusting so well. AND we have a sleeper! A true blessing from God, another healthy and happy baby girl! Remembering it is a blessing is the trick to fresh motherhood, newborn feeding schedules, sleeping routines (or lack there of), and the new found energy level of the 3 year old you already have. It is so easy to get lost in the blur of sleep deprivation or breastfeeding challenges and forget you have this amazingly perfect blessing from God, one that only lasts a short time in this stage.
So Maisie was one week old yesterday and we ventured to Target. Other than doctor’s visits and walks around the block it was my first time out with 2 children (my sister was with us, I am not that brave yet.) Our goal: time out of the house and nursery decor, pink of course, now that we finally know IT’S A GIRL! At the top of the list: a mini pink lamp for the nursery. So as we strolled through Target with a predetermined list, 2 carts (one for each girl), and a time limit due to feedings, we accomplished our goal. We checked off our items and headed to the check out. We checked out, packed up the car, swung by Dunkin Donuts, and headed home. As we were unpacking the car and bringing in the 5-6 Target bags I thought to myself, “Hmmm, that is odd I don’t see the lamp (you know the main reason we went).” Turns out I didn’t see it because it wasn’t there. We had forgotten to put it on the conveyer belt at check out, oops. I could not believe it. The main reason we went out. Ugh! Frustrating. I mean however will I get through feedings at night without the perfect light??????? (Clearly this is a crisis, right?????)
Well, later as I was unpacking a few things in the nursery I found the bag that had the light bulbs (low wattage) I had bought for the lamp that stayed at the Target checkout. When suddenly, it dawned on me . . . ready? Wait for it . . . I could use the lamp I already had but change out the bulb for a lower wattage bulb, therefore solving the problem of brightness during middle of the night feedings. Boom done! (to quote Jonathan Hoeldtke) I am a genius! Problem solved. Crisis averted. Phew! I almost overreacted there, close call.
Motherhood anyone? Sleep deprivation in full force? Hormones raging and the emotional roller coaster caused by that can make a new mother crazy, literally at times. Taking a deep breath and stepping out of the “crisis” you feel you are in can be ten times harder these first couple weeks. And EVERYONE around you knows it. Don’t think as new mothers we can’t see the look of sheer terror on your face as you ask us if we need something to drink or if you can help us do something- trust me we see it, we are just paralyzed to do anything about it.
So I think back to when I had Adeline. The hardest part for me was losing my “God time” in the morning. I either needed to sleep at that time, feed her, or was dealing with a screaming baby. I remember feeling so disconnected from God that I was unable to know his peaceful presence. This time ’round I went in knowing that I had to stay connected to my source of strength and peace; that I can disconnect from many things but not from Jesus. So this morning when I read Paul’s words in Ephesians 3 I felt God’s presence reminding me he is here, I am not alone, and the hormonal-emotional roller coaster will not last forever. Lamps will not be considered crisis forever! I heard the following spoken as a blessing to me:
“I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,”
This is a blessing of strength for my inner being, reminding me of the Spirit that dwells within. The Spirit that roots me in the love of Christ, a love that is wider and longer, higher and deeper, than any other love. A love that surpasses all knowledge and fills me with the the fullness of God. God, who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine through Christ Jesus. This God fills me!
This is the strength I am connected to. The very strength that created me, breathed life into me, and through me created this perfect little being we call Maisie. He is the strength that gives us the power to go weeks without any real sleep, the courage to overcome feeling misunderstood by everyone around us as we try to balance our emotions, and the endless and eternal love that is poured out, through us as mothers, in such a beautiful and tangible way.
So the light bulb has gone on . . . and not just in the nursery. But for me the light inside of me has been triggered as I read and meditate on this Scripture today. As I intentionally reconnect with my Savior through the strength he has inspired in me by the power of the Holy Spirit. Oh and did I mention there are times when we need this reminder every day? The reminder that Jesus can do “Immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine”. That he can take our light bulb crisis and turn it into something beautiful: a reminder of his love, peace, and strength. So today I share with you the reminder that Jesus shared with me through Paul’s Letter to the Ephesians:
Christ dwells in your heart.
He is your source of strength, in the depths of your inner being.
You are rooted in his love.
You are filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.